Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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