DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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