dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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