I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
