she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
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