I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
