Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
