Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
