If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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