the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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