Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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