can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
high people should be assigned attendants
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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