drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize