it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
