Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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