bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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