can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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