I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
