Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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