I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
