There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
