should my penis look like a turkey
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
