her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
