Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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