btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
