I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize