I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
