We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
