im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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