I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
