bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
