Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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