We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
