Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
