yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
