i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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