Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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