Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
