Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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