As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
