Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
