I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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