apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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