How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
