You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
