There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
