Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
