i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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