bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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