he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
