I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
