peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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