Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
