just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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