I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
