youre lurking in front of me
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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