I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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