Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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