Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
