The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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